A Christmas Gift of Love
By Darlene Mindrup
Chapter 1
Rose Johnson clutched the edges of the rough plank table and stared out
the window at the bleak November landscape. A brisk, chill rain was pelting
rhythmically against the glass pane that was the kitchen's sole source
of light. Perhaps she should light the lantern on the table and dispel
some of the gloom, but her lethargy wouldn't allow even that much effort.
Sighing, she allowed her thoughts free rein as they pushed insistently
against the forced shield of her mind. For the first time in days, the
tears came as relentlessly as the precipitation outside.
Papa was gone, and she was alone in the world. What was she to do now?
She had nowhere to go, no one to care. If she had any relatives, she didn't
know about them. For the last twenty years, it had been just Papa and
she; and before that there was Mama.
She smiled as she remembered her mother's gentle' face. Mama had died
when Rose was just fifteen, and Rose had thought the pain would never
go away. But it did. Slowly. Inevitably. Just as this pain would pass,
too; but from experience Rose knew it would take time. Lots of time.
She could see her own reflection in the darkness of the glass. Her wide
blue eyes were her only good feature. Her brown hair looked almost black
against the darkness of the pane. Papa had named her Rose, but she bore
no resemblance to the beautiful flower. She had never had a beau, and
she knew now that she never would. At thirty-five years of age, she was
well past her prime here on the prairie of the Dakota Territory.
She could hear conversation reverberating from the other room and knew
that she would have to return soon. But not just yet. She needed time
to herself Time to grieve.
Since tomorrow was Thanksgiving Day, Rose had decided to forego the more
formal wake that would last all night. It was well past four o'clock already
and several of the others were preparing to leave, to return to their
homes and their lives celebrating a national holiday established in 1863,
less than six years ago, by the then president, Abraham Lincoln.
She thought about this Thanksgiving, so different from the past few years
that she had spent with her father, and more recently with Ward Taylor,
a good friend of her father's. This year there would be no cooked venison
with savory stuffing, no wild berry pies, no celebrating of thanks to
the Lord.
Well, that was not entirely true. Although Papa was gone, she knew that
she still had much to be thankful for. God had given her thirty-five wonderful
years with the best papa a girl could have. Now, he was with her mother
and she was truly thankful for that. The future without them she refused
to consider, for it seemed terribly bleak.
Last night she had lain down to sleep wishing that she could join her
parents during the night, but she had awakened this morning before the
sun was up, as usual, and knew it was a fruitless wish. God must still
have a purpose for her, but right now she couldn't even begin to know
what it might be. Her tired mind refused to function properly, and concern
for her future continually twisted her mind with worry.
She could hear Ward's deep voice rumbling in the outer room. Rose was
always uncomfortable in his presence, even though he and her father had
been friends for several years. When he came to visit she usually found
an excuse to absent herself 17hat he knew it was obvious. Still, he hadn't
let it affect his friendship with Papa.
Frowning, she tried to think what it was that stirred that sense of panic
she felt whenever he was near. He had been only kind to her. Perhaps it
was the fact that he was such a large man, and when he spoke she felt
he would surely rattle the walls of the small shanty where she lived.
He seemed such a powerful man, such a contrast to the other men she had
known. Men like her quiet, gentle papa.
And Ward's eyes were the most incredible color of green that she had ever
seen, like the shifting prairie grass in the spring, yet they seemed so
vacant of any emotion. Almost cold. At least it had always seemed that
way to her, but when she mentioned it to Papa, he had vehemently disagreed
with her.
She shook her head slightly and tried to banish thoughts of the man from
her mind. Going to the cupboard in the comer, she tried to reach the extra
mugs she kept stored on the top shelf Papa usually fetched them for her,
but Papa was not here to do so now. Well, at least his body was, but not
his spirit. That had been freed from the pain of the last several days.
She closed her eyes against the anguish of that memory. Papa's twisted,
broken body that had been brought to her after his horse had spooked and
he had been thrown from it. He had lived for three days in excruciating
pain before his spirit had finally been put to rest.
She shuddered as she thought of her present company keeping watch on the
now cold body of her beloved father. She had always hated the custom of
wakes. Why couldn't they just have buried him yesterday and have done
with it? If they thought he was merely unconscious and might waken at
any moment, she could tell them otherwise.
A small moan escaped her and she leaned her head against the cupboard.
She had heard the stories before of people being buried alive, thence
the custom of wakes, but nothing would bring her papa back again, no matter
how much she might wish it. If only it could be so, she would gladly let
the others keep watch forever.
"Here, let me get that for you."
Rose tensed at Ward's voice, the timber of it sending little chills skittering
down her spine. He reached around her, pushing against her back as he
stretched to the top shelf. Rose stiffened against him, turning slowly
when he moved away.
Quietly, he handed her the tray of mugs, his eyes never leaving her face.
Rose felt the color spread across her cheeks and unconsciously she lifted
a hand to her hair to make sure her bun was still in place. Drawn back
from her face so tightly, her hair only added to her wan appearance, but
of this she was unaware.
Rose turned away from him and began readying the coffee, pouring the steaming
brew from the blue-speckled pot she kept on the back burner of her woodstove.
She pulled some sugar cookies from the jar on the counter and added them
to the tray.
Feeling his eyes on her, she grew suddenly clumsy, her fingers failing
to do what she required of them. When she snapped a cookie in two, she
sighed with exasperation.
"Sugar cookies are my favorite," he told her, his kindness twinkling in
those green eyes. A small sound escaped from her throat before she could
stop it.
Ward reached to take the tray from her, and set it on the table. When
he puffed her gently into his arms she stiffened, and then suddenly she
collapsed against him, her tears releasing her of the past hours of stored
up grief He drew her closer still as he murmured soothing words of comfort.
Rose acknowledged to herself the warmth and security she felt in Ward's
arms as he rocked her gently back and forth, and while she longed to remain
just where she was, a part of her told her it was not a very good idea.
Finally, Rose pulled away, rubbing angrily at the wetness on her cheeks.
She refused to look at Ward. "They were Papa's favorite, too," she told
him, as though that explained everything. Lifting the coffee tray from
the table, she hurried from the kitchen, Ward following close on her heels.
The shanty, though small, still boasted four separate rooms: kitchen,
living area, and two bedrooms. For many of the people living here on the
prairie, this house would seem palatial. To Rose, it was just home. Other
neighbors were seated in the main living area, while Papa was laid out
in his own bedroom, awaiting burial the next day.
Rose handed mugs of coffee to those present, passing the cookies among
them. When she sat down, she found herself across from Ward. His veiled
eyes seemed to be watching every move she made.
Shifting uncomfortably, she dropped her eyes to the black band around
his forearm. Every person in the room was wearing such a band, their symbol
of respect to her deceased father. Except for a sprinkling of grey throughout
his tresses, the color of the band was as dark as the hair on Ward's head.
At forty years of age, he was still a striking man where looks were concerned.
He had the lean fitness of a man who spent many hours out-of-doors.
Thankfully her attention, and his, was diverted by several people rising
to leave. Rose handed them their coats and thanked them for coming. Soon
there were only herself, Ward, and Emily Haskins left.
Closing the door against the fast-approaching night, Rose turned to the
elderly woman and almost choked at the soft look of sympathy she saw reflected
in the older woman's gentle brown eyes.
"I'm not leaving you alone here tonight, Rose. Ward has agreed to stay
and take me home after the funeral in the morning."
"That's really not necessary," Rose told her, her own voice tinged with
dismay.
Ward gave her a sharp glance. "It's no trouble," he answered her. "Emily
and I would be traveling back in the morning anyway, so with the weather
being like it is, we thought we would just as well stay." His green eyes
roved her features slowly before being caught by the troubled look in
her own blue eyes.
Rose was relieved when Ward released her from his mesmerizing gaze and
turned instead to Emily. "I am at your command," he told her, his face
splitting into a grin.
Emily had a penchant for organizing things, and Rose had no doubt that
she was about to do that very thing now. It was quite possible that Ward
had suggested it, thinking that Rose would be in no fit state to do much
of anything.
Rolling up her sleeves, Emily headed to the kitchen. "Bring me some more
wood from the lean-to, and don't forget to feed the livestock. Oh, and
Rose, help me find the flour so that I can bake you some bread. I'll not
leave you here without the basic necessities."
Rose found Ward smiling at her and couldn't help but smile in return.
Shaking her head, she followed Emily into the kitchen. Already the older
woman was bustling about finding the items she needed to concoct her famous
honey wheat bread.
Rose's eyes fastened on the jar with the honeycomb smothered in honey.
A small smile touched her lips as she thought of Papa and her finding
the hive this summer. Together they had managed to smoke the bees and
retrieve the sweet liquid, though she had received three stings for her
effort and had ached for days. Papa, on the other hand, had not been stung
at all. He had laughingly told her that the bees knew she was afraid of
them.
"It's amazin' how we women tend to think so much alike."
Rose shifted her wayward thoughts and focused on the woman before her.
"What did you say~"
"I said it's arnazin' how much women tend to think alike. I could find
just about everything in your kitchen )cause its pretty much in the same
place as mine."
Rose pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her tired eyes. She appreciated
Emily's concern, and Ward's, but she would much rather be alone. Papa's
body might be lying in the next room, but there was nothing about that
to frighten her. If anything, it offered her a slight measure of comfort.
Pulling out a chair at the table, Rose slowly lowered herself into it.
She watched Emily working the dough and realized that the older woman
had been right. Rose was so tired, she would never have bothered to fix
anything for herself to eat.
Ward brought the wood in and dumped it in the bin by the stove. Taking
off his dripping sheepskin
jacket, he hung it on the hook behind the door. He stretched his muscles
tiredly, his grey flannel shirt rippling across his broad shoulders with
the movement.
Rose swallowed hard and quickly turned her eyes away. "What else?" He
spoke to Emily, but his eyes were once again centered on Rose.
"The animals taken care of?" Emily asked him.
"I did that earlier." His look swung again to Rose. "You look just about
done in. Why don't you get some sleep? Emily and I will see to things
here."
Rose was already shaking her head. "I couldn't do that."
Hands placed firmly on her rounded hips, Emily scrutinized Rose with a
knowing eye. "Why ever not? You're not much good to us like you are. You're
already half asleep on your feet. Good Book says to do unto others as
you would have them do unto you. Now, if the shoe were on the other foot,
what would you say?"
Rose blinked tired eyes up at the elderly woman standing before her. Truth
to tell, having someone take charge was a blessing for which she should
be thankful. She glanced at Ward and found his lips twitching with amusement.
Emily Haskins had always had the last word about anything for as long
as Rose could remember. She couldn't think of a time when the spry woman
hadn't gotten her own way.
"All right," she relented, rising to her feet. "You've convinced me. I'll
go to bed."
Emily's face broke into a broad smile. "I knew you were a woman of good
sense."
Ward followed Rose from the kitchen. "I'll. just see that the fire in
the fireplace is still going strong, then I'll go back and help Emily."
Rose only half-heard Ward placing another log on the still-crackling fire
as she sluggishly made her way across the room to her bedroom door. She
had her hand on the latch, but stopped just short of lifting it.
When she turned to go to the other door, Ward barely made it there before
her. He placed his hand over hers as she was about to pull the latch.
Startled, she jerked her hand back and lifted her face to his in question.
"Don't," he told her softly. "Not tonight. You're too tired. Wait until
the morning."
She wanted to argue, but she knew he was right. Still, something about
him made her want to do everything opposite to what he suggested. Could
it be because everything he said always came out sounding like an order?
As though he could read her mind, he touched her face gently with a curled
finger. Please."
His touch set off an explosion of feelings she had no hope of interpreting.
Ward could see the trepidation return to her eyes as she quickly moved
away from him. "You're probably right," she told him breathlessly. "I
only wanted to see him one more time before the others come again tomorrow.
One more time, just he and I alone."
Ward said nothing, merely watching as she quickly crossed to the other
door and let herself into her own bedroom.
Closing the door behind her, Rose leaned back against it, pressing a hand
to her heart. Never in her life had she been so unsettled by a man's touch.
It sent feelings twisting through her that she had never experienced before,
made her want things she had long ago considered impossible.
Brows puckering in confusion, she made her way across to her bed and began
to disrobe in the dark. The chill temperatures had her hurrying, and quickly
climbing beneath the quilts on her bed she curled herself into a ball,
shivering against the cold sheets.
How could a man affect her in such a way. A man she barely liked. And
now, of all times, with her father lying mere feet away, lost to her for
the rest of this lifetime. She was overly tired. That had to be it, for
no other explanation offered itself to her fatigued mind.
Huddling beneath the covers, she felt the chill lessen and her eyes grew
drowsy. As she drifted off to sleep, she resolved to free herself of Ward's
unwanted presence at the earliest opportunity.
"Does she know about the farm yet?"
Ward lifted tired eyes to the woman before him. Slowly, he shook his head.
"I didn't want to burden her with that tonight. She'll know soon enough."
Emily pulled out a chair and joined him at the kitchen table. "I agree,
of course. It just amazes me that Gabel kept such a thing to himself "
Ward nodded. "He was that kind of man. Willing to help others in any way
he could, but not willing to let others do the same for him."
"A lot like someone else I know, Ward Taylor. Maybe that's why you two
got along so well."
Grinning, Ward didn't deny it. He lifted the steaming mug to his lips
and blew softly. Actually, he hated coffee; but he wouldn't for the world
let Emily know that, because to Emily, coffee was a panacea for all kinds
of evils. Grimacing when her back was turned, he reached for the sugar
bowl and ladled a heavy spoonful into the dark, aromatic brew.
"So what will you do now?"
One dark eyebrow winged its way upwards. "What makes you think I will
do anything?"
A very unladylike snort followed his question. "Ward Taylor, you gotta
do somethin'. That little girl in there can't take care of herself, you
know. She needs a good strong man to look out for her."
Ward had to smile at Emily's reference to a woman of thirty-five years
of age being a "little girl." The smile disappeared quickly when he realized
what she had said. "Why, you old matchmaker, you! You can just get that
notion out of your mind, real quick."
Innocent brown eyes didn't fool Ward for one minute. He knew he had to
do something to help Rose, and he didn't need anyone like Emily pointing
it out to him. But she was suggesting-no, that couldn't be what she was
suggesting. Surely he was being paranoid.
When he looked at her again, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What did
you have in mind?"
"Well. . ." she drawled. "You could use a good wife and Rose could use
a good husband." He rose quickly to his feet, but Emily continued undaunted.
"If you had a wife, you wouldn't need to pay me to do your baking, and
Maudie to do your laundry, and---~'
"Okay, okay," he told her in exasperation, lifting a hand as though to
stem the flow of words. "I get the picture. But I thought you enjoyed
the extra money, and if it doesn't bother me, why should it bother you.
"Now don't get ornery," she huffed. "I do like the extra money, but I
think you could put yours to better use."
Ward was shaking his head. "Emily, you never cease to amaze me."
"Did you know Rose ain't got no place to go?"
He collapsed back into the chair. "I know."
"Well?"
Ward stared at Emily several minutes before he realized that he was actually
considering what she had suggested. Gritting his teeth, he jumped to his
feet, grabbing his coat from the hook on the back of the kitchen door.
"I'll just go check on the animals," he told her.
She gave him a "you don't fool me" look, but she remained quiet as he
escaped through the door.
As Ward made his way to the barn he stole a glance at the sky. Clouds
blocked out the cold night moon and he knew there would be more rain come
morning. What a miserable day for a funeral it was going to be, not that
any day was a good one.
Throwing some more hay in the manger, he patted the old milk cow's neck
and checked once again to make sure everything was all right. There was
very little hay left, but he doubted Rose was even aware of it. He sighed.
If only these torrential rains had come this past summer when the farmers
needed it instead of now. He hadn't realized just how badly Gabel had
been affected by the drought.
Making his way back to the cabin, he made sure he entered through the
front door instead of the kitchen. He could hear Emily moving around,
humming faintly to herself
Leaving his muddy boots beside the door, he made his way quietly to Rose's
door and pressed an ear against the portal. No sound came from within,
so he assumed she was fast asleep. What would she say when he told her
everything tomorrow? What would she do? Where would she go? The questions
kept circling round and round in his mind. One thing was for certain,
Emily's idea was positively out of the question.
Chapter 2
Ward's prediction of rain hadn't materialized as of the time set for
the funeral, and he knew Rose was thankful. Hovering clouds to the north
spoke of a winter storm approaching and everyone knew that with that storm,
winter would set in with a vengeance.
The minister hurried the ceremony, and surrounding neighbors quickly made
their way back to their horses and wagons. It wouldn't do to be caught
out in a blizzard.
Out of necessity, Gabel's body was buried close to the shanty on the land
that he loved. Ward walked beside Rose back to the house, wondering how
he could broach the subject of Rose's future. He was relieved of that
obligation when Rose spoke first.
"I want to thank you for everything you've done." She glanced at him,
but quickly turned away. "Both now and in the past. Papa ... Papa was
grateful for your friendship."
There was a catch in her voice as she said the last and Ward knew she
was struggling with tears held tightly in check. He took a deep breath,
but before he could say anything she continued.
"It was nice of Pastor Hoover to offer to take Emily home."
He gave her a quick glance, but made no comment.
"I know you must be anxious to get home yourself, but would you like a
cup of coffee before you go?"
Ward wrinkled his nose slightly. "That would be nice," he lied.
When they reached the shanty, Rose disappeared into the kitchen to fetch
them each a cup of coffee. Ward followed her, watching her without appearing
to do so.
He seated himself at the table and Rose pushed a cup in front of him.
She sat down across from him and hastily lowered her eyes.
Ward noticed the traces of Rose's tears and felt suddenly very protective
towards her. Both she and her father had been good friends to him over
the past several years, though he knew that with Rose it was a somewhat
reserved friendship. For some reason he seemed to alarm her, but as yet
he hadn't found the cause. It had never bothered him overmuch, seeing
as how it was her pa he came to see. She had always seemed to just melt
into the background whenever he was around.
He had been unfailingly courteous to her whenever they came in contact,
but each time he could sense the wall she erected between them. He had
never felt as free with her as he had with Gabel, her father. Now, suddenly,
he wished it had been different. Then he might know what to say to her
now, what comfort he could offer, though from experience he knew there
was really nothing you could say to a person who had just lost someone
held dearer than life itself And now he had to give her more bad news.
"Rose, there's something I need to tell you."
When she looked at him with those innocent blue eyes, Ward found himself
momentarily rattled. How was he ever going to manage this? It was hard
to think straight when confronted by such liquid pools of misery.
Yes?"
Ward pushed his cup away, rubbing at his face in agitation. "This house-I
mean this land---"
"I know what you're going to say. A woman alone cain't take care of the
land and the crops. I've heard it all before. But other women have staked
claims and worked to prove 'em up. I can too."
Pursing his lips, Ward began to draw circles With his finger on the table.
He didn't look at her when he said, "There's no claim to prove up."
She frowned across at him. "What's that supposed to mean? Papa has had
this claim for over six years now. It's his, free and clear. It was tough,
but we did it. We even stayed through the Santee Indian uprisings when
most other folks left. This is our land."
When Ward captured her look, his eyes were serious. "Your pa mortgaged
this land to buy seed for crops. This land isn't yours. It belongs to
the Yankton Bank."
Rose's already pale face became even paler. "I don't believe you."
"It's true," he told her. "What's more, I think you know it."
Rose sagged back against her chair. "You're right. I've known something
was wrong for a long time now. When the rains failed to come this past
spring Papa was more worried than I can ever remember seeing him." Her
eyes met his. "Why didn't he tell me?"
"He was hoping to recoup his losses by selling a piece of his land, but-"
"But he died before he could do it," she finished for him tonelessly.
"Yes."
For the first time, Ward noticed a spark of interest in her eyes. "Then
I could do the same. Sell some of the land, I mean." The sudden, irrelevant
thought occurred to him that her eyes were the very color of a summer
sky.
He shook his head slowly. "It's already too late. The bank intends to
foreclose by the end of this week."
She rose quickly to her feet. "Then I haven't time to lose. I'll saddle
Baron and leave straightway. I should be able to make it to Yankton in
two days."
Ward stared up at her in open-mouthed amazement. He rose to his own feet,
his six-foot-six height towering over her by a good nine inches. "Of all
the stupid - don't be ridiculous! For one thing, you'd never outrun that
storm." He motioned towards the kitchen window where the morning light
already resembled dusk.
"I could try!"
"And for another thing," he went on, "the bank already has a buyer for
this property at twice the rate of your father's mortgage. There's no
way they're going to give you more time, and especially not to sell off
part of the land which would detract from its value."
Rose slowly sank back to her chair. She buried her face in her hands.
"There has to be a way," she muttered. "I have to keep this property.
I have nowhere else to go."
Ward knelt beside her, pulling her hands away from her face. The abject
misery in her visage reminded him of a wounded fawn he had come across
this past spring.
"There is a way," he told her softly.
Hope brightened her features, and she smiled at him with a smile that
seemed to dispel some of the gloom from the darkened interior. "There
is?"
Her childish faith disturbed him. He swallowed twice before he could get
the words out. "You could marry me.
Her smile disappeared and such a look of horror crossed her face that
Ward was momentarily offended.
Rose couldn't have looked more surprised if the floor had opened up beneath
her. She stared at Ward with a look that surely doubted his sanity. Neither
one spoke for a long moment.
'Just listen to me a minute," he urged. "I'm not suggesting a regular
marriage. I know you don't love me, and I don't ... well, I don't love
you either. But we need each other."
If she could have gotten past him, Ward had no doubt Rose would have left
him kneeling there. She really had no option but to listen to everything
he had to say.
"I can't promise you love. All of that died in me seven years ago. But
I can promise you that I will care for you. All I ask in return is someone
to meet my needs. I know you're a fine cook, and you have a knack of making
even the roughest dwelling seem like home."
The anger seemed to drain from her face as she considered his proposal.
I need time to think, Ward. Time to sort things through!'
"I can't give you that time," he declared roughly. "The minister only
stayed for your father's funeral and he intends to leave within the next
hour. He's going to try to reach Mitchell before the snow flies, so he
would have to marry us now. I can give you five minutes to decide."
With that, he got up and left the room.
Rose sat there, her mind totally blank. Five minutes to decide her future.
Of all the nerve! Of course she would decline his offer. In fact she would
take perverse delight in doing so. But what would she do with her future?
Her mind wandered round and round in circles until Rose thought she would
scream, but no matter which way her thoughts turned, she always came back
to the same conclusion. She had nowhere to go. Marrying Ward offered her
a solution, but what kind of woman would she be if she accepted such an
arrangement?
Of course, others before her had accepted such a proposal, but that certainly
didn't justify Rose's doing the same. Still, Ward had said that he needed
her. A man alone on the prairie was about as useless as a woman alone
on the prairie.
For the first time Rose considered the sacrifice Ward was willing to make
for her. After several moments of such reasoning, Rose finally convinced
herself that she would be doing Ward just as big a favor as he was doing
her.
Not willing to be found waiting for him, Rose got up and went in search
of Ward. He was kneeling next to the fire slowly stirring the hot coals
with the fire iron. His brow was fin-rowed in thought and from that distance
he seemed quite unapproachable. Rose had to take her courage firmly in
hand before she could get her feet to move.
He glanced up as she stopped beside him. Green eyes studied her thoughtfully,
their look inscrutable.
"Why?"
He didn't pretend to misunderstand her. "I owe you and your father a lot.
It's the least I could do."
Rose blew out through tightly clenched lips. "We owe you just as much,
if not more."
He stood and crossed the room, returning the iron to its Place by the
fire. When he turned back to Rose his expression was carefully veiled.
He took her by the shoulders, studying her face carefully. "I need a wife.
You need a husband. It's as simple as that. Dodt look for something more
when there is nothing more."
Rose struggled with the desire to say no, but she held herself in check
She needed more time to decide what to do, but her time was rapidly running
out. It was clear Ward expected an answer.
'What do you want from me?" she asked in an unsteady voice.
"Only what you're willing to give."
"If I say yes ... will you ... do you want... ?" Her tongue tripped over
the words.
I expect nothing from you except to care for my home, cook my meals, and
possibly help with the land. In time ... in time, maybe we could learn
to care for each other. I don't know. As I said, my heart died a long
time ago. I don't know if I have any heart left to give."
Rose lay a hand against his grey flannel sleeve. "You have a heart, Ward.
You proved that just now."
She walked away from him and went to the window. Rose knew putting in
glass panes was an extravagance, but Papa had wanted it so much for Rose.
He had tried to make everything easier for her.
Ward cleared his throat. "Rose, there's something else you need to know."
She glanced over her shoulder, waiting for him to continue.
"My place is nothing like this." He motioned with his hand, indicating
the shanty's interior. I had no need to fix my place up special since
... since I had no woman to care."
Rose saw the brief look of grief that crossed his features. Ward had lost
his wife on the trip out to the Dakota Territory, that much she knew.
Something to do with fever. How he must have loved her to feel the pain
of loss even after seven years.
"Please don't tell me you live in a soddie," she whispered.
Surprised, he blinked at her before breaking into a soft chuckle, his
eyes suddenly alive with devilment. "Nothing like that. I just want you
to know that I only have a one-room cabin with a dirt floor. If you decide
to marry me, I will immediately begin to change that."
"Only one room?" If anything, her voice was fainter than before.
He nodded. "After the storm passes I can begin to bring logs from the
river to add on. It'll take time, but I have nothing else pressing since
winter has set in."
Rose turned back to study the outside and saw the first soft flakes begin
to fall against the panes. Snow!
Ward noticed too. He came to stand beside her, his attention focused outside.
"You have to give me your answer now, Rose."
It seemed an eternity before Rose could bring herself to answer him. She
sent up a quick prayer for the Almighty's blessings on this seemingly
unholy contract She couldn't get the words past the lump in her throat,
so she settled for nodding her head.
She felt more than saw Ward relax. "You'll have to get your coat and come
with me to the Haskins'. Pastor Hoover is waiting for us there."
"You were so sure Id say yes?" she asked quietly.
"Let's just say I hoped the answer would be yes," he answered just as
quietly.
Ward watched Rose cross the shanty to her room. When she disappeared
from sight his shoulders slumped, and he let out a long breath. What on
earth had he gotten himself into now? Of all the stupid notions, this
had to top them all. When Emily had first suggested he marry Rose, he
had thought it ludicrous, but after a fitful night with no sleep and images
of Rose's less than rosy future, the idea had seemed not only possible,
but necessary.
Rose returned and Ward helped her into her coat. He took the blanket she
handed him and followed her outside to his waiting wagon. A fine layer
of white covered the horses from head to tail.
After tucking the blanket securely around her, Ward climbed into the wagon
beside her and taking up the reins clucked to the horses. The silence
hung between them, almost deafening in its completeness.
Emily was waiting for them when they arrived. Although the trip was only
two miles, snow now covered the ground to a depth of several inches. If
the wind should pick up, it would become a full-out blizzard.
Pastor Hoover hurriedly performed the service, smiling at them both when
he gave his blessing. In a short time Ward and Rose found themselves on
their way back to Rose's shanty. Emily had wanted them to stay for a celebration
supper, but prudence dictated otherwise. There were animals to attend
to. Besides, neither Ward nor Rose felt that there was anything much to
celebrate.
Rose climbed down from the wagon and hurried inside while Ward took
the horses to the barn. Her hands were shaking so badly she could hardly
undo the buttons on her coat.
She threw the coat on the hook behind the front door and slowly made her
way into the kitchen. She went to the window and looked out, not even
bothering to light the lamp. Anguished blue eyes reflected back to her
from the darkened panes. Oh Papa! What now? Would you have wanted this?
There was no answer, only the keening howl of the wind as it began its
trip across the prairie.
Chapter 3
The morning dawned bright and clear, almost as though the previous night's
storm had never been. It had left behind a reminder, however, and the
flat prairie was covered in white for as far as the eye could see.
For Rose, the past twenty-four hours had seemed like a surrealistic dream
or, depending on one's opinion, a nightmare. She twisted the gold band
Ward had placed on her left hand only last night. Where he had obtained
it she had no idea, nor was she about to ask. She had this horrible feeling
that it might have belonged to his first wife, Elise, and that he had
carried it around with him for the past seven years. Such morbid thoughts
made her shiver with distaste.
Now Ward was hitching his team of horses to the wagon in preparation for
returning to his own cabin. She could see the frown furrowing his brow
and realized that he was concerned for his livestock since he had been
unable to make it back last night, the storm having effectively stranded
them here. Her own milk cow and Papa's horse were tied securely to the
back of the wagon.
She drifted to the front door, opening it and leaning against the jamb.
Ward glanced up briefly but continued with what he was doing. The winter
landscape shone so brightly it stung the eyes just to look at it. The
wind had scattered the snow, piling it up against small obstructions until
there were little hills all around.
"I'll be back by sundown. It would help if you had the place cleaned out
and your things ready to be moved." He retraced his steps to the other
side of the team and began tightening the harness on Big Ben, Old Blue's
team mate. "You can leave the bedding since it will be too late to make
it back to my .. our place this evening. We'll stay the night here again."
.Would she ever feel comfortable around this man? She certainly didn't
feel married, though never having experienced that state before, she wasn't
quite sure what "feeling married" entailed. "I'll ... I'll have supper
ready when you get back."
Nodding his head, Ward climbed into the wagon. He gave Rose a long, searching
look before lifting the reins and clucking to the team. As the wagon moved
forward, Rose heard the cackling of the chickens that Ward had crated
up to take back with him. They seemed as unhappy with the situation as
she was.
Closing the door, she began wandering from room to room, lifting a pot
here, moving a blanket there. She stood in Papa's room a long time before
shaking her head, and finally pulling herself together. This was getting
her nowhere. She knew what she had to do, so it was best to pull herself
out of the doldrums and get the job done.
Since she had no crates or barrels, she used her clothes and blankets
to pile dishes and supplies into, leaving only those blankets and sheets
necessary for their sojourn here tonight. She gathered her breakables
next to her storage chest beside her bed and lifting the cover peered
inside.
Her heart seemed to lodge somewhere in her throat when she spotted the
colorful quilt to one side. She had forgotten. Now, she carefully lifted
it out, spreading it across her lap. Tears began to pool in her eyes as
she moved her hand softly over the covering.
This quilt had been a labor of love, worked on for months now. She had
taken materials left over from worn-out clothes belonging to Papa and
Mama, and even her own, and fashioned them into this beautiful spread.
That blue piece was from a shirt she had made for Papa when she was but
fifteen, shortly after Mama had died. Mama had taught her to sew, but
the shirt had proven trickier than she had expected and somehow she could
not get the sleeves to set right. Still, Papa had worn it proudly.
There were pieces from the dresses her mother had made for her as a child.
There was even a beautiful piece of faded white satin from Mama's wedding
gown.
Rose had been saving these pieces for ages, and it was the one thing Papa
had not left behind them when they had come west. Most people would have
considered a crate of material pieces a foolish waste of space, but not
Papa. He had known just how much they meant to her.
It had only been this past summer that the thought of making a special
quilt for him had occurred to her. She had created her own intricate pattern
and worked long hours to complete it in time for Christmas. The tiny,
even stitches spoke well of Rose's ability with a needle and she felt
a little thrill of pride in herself and her mother who had taken such
pains to teach her the finer art of quilting.
Since she had finished the quilt before Thanksgiving, she had put it away
until later to give to Papa. It had been all she could do to keep it from
him until Christmas. Now, it was too late. He would never see it.
Tears crowded close in her throat and she gently lay the covering back
in the chest, arranging her breakables among its soft folds. She shut
the lid firmly.
Well, the quilt was hers now. All that was left of Papa and Mama. Even
the farm was no longer hers, but no one could take away her memory quilt,
especially not some greedy bank. Let them have the land, the shanty, and
even the livestock if they so desired, but the quilt belonged to her,
and her alone.
It didn't take long for her to empty the shanty of their few possessions.
She hadn't realized just how much trifles added to the warmth of a home,
but now, with the barrenness, the shanty seemed less friendly somehow.
Again she experienced that feeling of living in a dream. She moved listlessly
about, unable to set her mind to anything.
Finally, she made her way into the kitchen and checked on the stew she
had started earlier. Thanks to Emily, there was bread to go with it, but
little else. Still, it would have to do.
The day seemed to drag, and although she was unaware of it, Rose sighed
with relief when she heard the returning wagon.
Ward opened the door, stopping on the threshold to scrape off the mud
and ice caked to his boots. He glanced briefly at Rose before closing
the door behind him and hanging his coat on the peg behind it.
"How were your animals?" she asked him, busying herself with setting the
table so that she wouldn't have to look at him. Every time she was in
his presence, she felt such acute shyness that it was hard for her to
form a coherent thought.
"Our animals were fine," he told her, deliberately stressing the pronoun.
"Hungry, but none the worse for their unexpected fast."
He joined her at the table, breathing into his cupped hands to free them
of their cramping cold. "Smells good," he told her, his nose twitching
appreciatively.
Rose ladled him a bowl of stew, adding a buttered slice of bread. She
kept wracking her brain trying to think of something to say. Ward seemed
equally as uncomfortable.
After fixing her own bowl, she slid into the seat across from him. Giving
him a brief look she bowed her head and asked him to say grace.
There was a long silence in the room, and just as she was about to look
up to see what the problem was, she heard Ward clear his throat and hesitantly
offer thanks for the food.
Rose frowned. Hadn't Papa told her once that Ward was a man of God? If
that were so, then why such hesitation over a simple grace?
She kept her gaze focused on her own plate and decided not to worry about
it. Let the Good Lord handle Mr. Ward Taylor; she had enough troubles
of her own.
After supper, it didn't take Rose long to wash the few dishes and pack
them away in one of the crates Ward had brought back with him. She made
one more check through the house to assure herself that nothing had been
left behind. Ward had told her that the furniture could be stored in the
barn temporarily, but otherwise there was no room for it right now in
his-their cabin. She was beginning to really fret about this cabin that
was soon to be her new home.
When she closed her eyes that night, Rose tried hard to pray and leave
things in God's hands, but no clear thoughts would come. Her mind seemed
to have gone blank. Finally, she allowed her musings to roam in a wordless
appeal that she knew the Lord would be able to untangle and set right.
Only He could possibly have any idea of what she was really trying to
say. She only knew one thing. God had been with her all of her life, and
she was sure He wouldn't abandon her now.
Conversation was nonexistent for the first two miles of the trek to
Ward's cabin. Both he and Rose were busy with their own thoughts, both
trying to adjust themselves to their sudden change of circumstances.
Rose wondered just how far the cabin was. She couldn't remember ever discussing
it with Papa, but it must be quite a distance since it took the better
part of a day for him to reach their place. She really wanted to know,
but she was too nervous to ask and draw his attention to her.
"Our place is about ten more miles that way," he told her, motioning to
the northeast. His look swung briefly her way. `Are you sure you're warm
enough?"
She nodded. Now was the time to strike up a conversation and relieve them
both of this tense situation, but her tongue was simply too tied.
As though he read her thoughts, Ward began a rambling monologue of the
countryside around, how he thought it was going to be a long hard winter,
and what to expect when they reached his place. Rose was trying to prepare
herself for the worst.
About half-way to their destination, they rounded a bend in the road which
was little more than dug-in wagon tracks. Rose assumed that most of them
must have come from Ward and his frequent trips to her cabin.
There was a house nestled back from the road, if one could call it a house.
In actuality, it was nothing but a small soddie. Probably the occupants
were either too lazy to haul logs from the Missouri River close by, or
they had been here too short a time to make other arrangements.
She was surprised when a man hurried out to intercept them on the road.
He had a short, neatly clipped beard and although his clothes were little
more than patched rags, he was dean.
Ward pulled the wagon to a stop, setting the brake. He reached down to
the man, a smile lighting his features.
"Howdy, Adam. I'd like you to meet my wife, Rose." Ward nodded towards
the other man. "The Comptons are our nearest neighbors."
Brown eyes sparkled with friendliness as the man reached out a hand. "Howdy,
ma'am."
Rose returned his smile. "Mr. Compton."
"How's the family~" Ward asked him.
"See for yourself "
Over his shoulder, Rose could see a woman and two children hurrying their
way. The woman stopped beside the wagon and shyly handed Rose a bundle.
"For you. A wedding present."
Rose was stunned. She knew that news here on the prairie traveled as fast
as a wildfire, so she shouldn't have been surprised. But she was.
Taking the bundle, Rose unwrapped it, revealing a small loaf of bread.
She could feel Ward's eyes on her. When she looked his way, there was
something indefinable in his eyes.
"Thank you." She acknowledged the woman's friendliness with a smile that
brought a quick one in return.
"This here's Alice," Adam told her, the pride evident in his voice. "She's
my missus. And this here's Alicia and Andrew. Twins." He ruffled the boy's
hair good-naturedly, but Andrew pulled away.
"Aw, Pa!"
Adam grinned at his son. "Thinks he's too growed up, now that he's turned
six."
Rose smiled at the play between father and son. It was obvious that this
was a very close and loving family. Her gaze settled on little Alicia,
a perfect replica of her mother. Blond ringlets cascaded down the child's
back in abundance, and her periwinkle blue eyes smiled timidly at Rose.
"Won't you come in and have a bite to eat? You must be hungry after traveling
so far."
Rose was about to answer the woman when she felt a sudden pressure on
her knee. Turning startled eyes on Ward, she found his hand gripping her
knee but his look was fixed on Alice.
"We can't today, Alice. We still have a long way to go. Besides, Rose
fixed us something to eat for the trip."
That was certainly true, Rose thought, but Ward was being unneighborly
to say the least. Everyone on the prairie shared with each other, helped
each other and looked forward to each other's company.
She opened her mouth to disagree with his statement, but he suddenly fixed
her with a steely eye. She snapped her lips together, turning back to
Alice and smiling with regret.
Ward made as if to leave, but suddenly stopped as though he had just thought
of something. He turned to Adam.
"Adam, I was wondering if you might be willing to help me gather some
logs from the river. My cabin is much too small now that I'm a married
man." Both men exchanged amused glances. "I thought since it was winter
and all, you might have some free time to help me. If so, I thought since
we would be cutting and hauling logs for my cabin, we might just as well
do so for you, too. Now, I can't pay you, but I figured if you helped
me, I could help you and we could call it even."
A sudden light entered Adam's eyes and he straightened his shoulders.
When Rose looked at Alice she saw the same shine reflected in her eyes.
"I reckon that'd be a fair trade," Adam agreed. "When do you want to start?"
"Is tomorrow too soon?"
Adam grinned. "I'll be there at first light."
Nodding, Ward lifted the reins again and clucked to the horses. They hadn't
traveled far when Rose rounded on Ward.
"I can speak for myself, you know. It would have been nice to share a
meal with the Comptons."
Ward's lips lifted slightly in an amused smirk. "I wondered how long it
would take before you launched your attack."
"I'm not attacking," she huffed, "but you weren't being very neighborly."
When he turned her way, his green eyes were serious. "You're right. I
wasn't being very neighborly, but for good reason." He motioned to the
loaf of bread that Alice Compton had handed her. "That bread was probably
their allotment for the week. Since the drought this past summer and the
grasshoppers the year before, Adam hasn't fared very well. He still has
three years left to prove up, and if things don't change, he'll lose his
claim. You saw the condition of their clothes. They can barely afford
to feed themselves, much less clothe themselves. But they're a very proud
family. Adam feels if he can't make things work, then they just weren't
meant to be. He won't accept 'Charity.'"
Rose considered the loaf of bread in her lap. What a sacrifice! "Why didn't
you say something? I wouldn't have accepted this."
He turned away from her, studying the white prairie around them. Puffs
of frost billowed out of his mouth and nostrils and he pulled his hat
lower on his head to ward off the cold. "I wouldn't hurt Alice for the
world. I'll find a way to make it up to them."
He remained quiet after that, and Rose observed him silently. Ward, it
would seem, had a far larger heart than he gave himself credit for. Her
first thought had been to condemn. She dropped her chin and stared at
her fingers. If the Lord had wanted to teach her humility, He had certainly
found an effective way of doing it.
She had never known hunger herself Papa had brought money with him when
he first settled here on the prairie, so when the crops were scarce, the
money had been there. It only now occurred to her that he must have been
using that money little by little to make her life more comfortable. She
felt ashamed of herself for not seeing it sooner.
She wrapped the loaf of bread gently, as though it were some great treasure,
as in a sense, it was.
Chapter 4
Adam showed up as he said he would, at first light. Ward had been awake
for hours and had already taken care of the chores and fed the livestock.
The cabin itself hadn't been nearly as unsatisfactory as Rose was expecting,
but it was only one large room with very little in the way of furniture.
The fact that there was only one bed had caused her serious qualms until
Ward began making himself a pallet on the floor next to the fireplace.
Feeling guilty, but relieved nonetheless, Rose had prepared an elaborate
supper to make amends. The whole evening had been an ordeal in itself,
but one lighthearted moment had occurred at supper time that had relieved
Rose of much of her dread of her husband, though at the time it had caused
her a moment of panic.
She had poured him his third cup of coffee and was just turning away when
he cleared his throat. Turning back, one eyebrow raised in question, she
noticed Ward's nervousness. Suddenly, she began to feel rather nervous
herself
"Rose, there's something I need ... I have to ... well, we're going to
be married a long time, God willing, and you just gotta know."
When he stopped, Rose waited expectantly, not realizing that she was holding
her breath.
His chin lifted in determination, his eyes intent. "I'm sorry, Rose, but
I just caiA abide coffee."
Her breath rushed out of her in a gasp. Is that what this was all about?
And here she had been expecting... what? She wasn't quite sure, but suddenly
her relief lent a sparkle to her eyes, and she grinned at him.
"I'm not offended, Ward," she told him lightly. "Fact is, I can't stand
the stuff myself."
His shoulders relaxed, and his mouth curled slowly into a heart-stopping
smile. "The way you continually fed me the stuff, I never would have guessed."
He shook his head, grinning. "Well, we should save a good deal of money
on that commodity, then," he finally told her.
Rose shook her own head as she began clearing the table. "And all this
time you've been forcing yourself to drink it whenever you came to our
place. You should have told me. I thought all men drank coffee. Papa certainly
loved it."
His smile was sheepish. "My pa taught me to never say anything against
a woman's cookin'."
Rose shook her head again, just thinking about it now as she watched Ward
hitching the team to the wagon. With Adam's wagon, they would be able
to haul twice as much wood and wouldn't have to make as many return trips.
It should save time all around, and the sooner the other rooms were added,
the better it would be in her opinion. She hated the fact that Ward had
to sleep on the cold, dirt floor.
Ward returned to the cabin to retrieve his leather gloves. He paused beside
Rose on his way back out the door. "You sure you're gonna be all right
here by yourself'
She nodded. "I'll just unpack some of my things, if that's okay with you."
He lifted a hand and pushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear. His voice
was so soft, it sent shivers of awareness throughout her entire being.
"This is your place now, too. Remember?" When he bent and kissed her cheek
softly, Rose thought her heart would surely come to a standstill. "Make
it into a home," he continued. "I haven't had a real one in a long while,
and I know you have the knack."
With that, he left her standing there gaping at his retreating back.
By the time Ward had returned, Rose had unpacked most of her possessions,
though there was little room in the small cabin to accommodate them. On
the mantle above his fireplace, she placed her parents' anniversary clock,
surrounding it with her own pair of silver candlesticks that Papa had
bought for her twentieth birthday.
She had thought of adding her memory quilt to Ward's spartan bed, not
only for the warmth but to add some cheerful color to this otherwise drab
cabin. In the end, she had thought better of it. Perhaps there would be
a time when she could look at the coverlet without feeling so much pain,
but now was not that time. So she had carefully folded the quilt and returned
it to her chest.
Over the next few days, Ward and Rose grew accustomed to each other's
presence. Their conversation became less stilted, more natural, and before
long they were conversing together as though they had been friends a long
time, as indeed they really had, though they had not considered it so
at the time.
In the evenings when Rose would pull out her Bible for her daily devotions,
Ward would continue with his own work- He would dean the halters and oil
them against the weather, or sharpen the tools he would need come planting
time. Eventually he asked her to read aloud, and though she was surprised,
she nonetheless readily agreed. It became an evening ritual that Rose
looked forward to.
Ward still slept on his pallet by the fire, and Rose felt guiltier and
guiltier about making him do so, especially when he spent such long, hard
hours felling trees and she did so little. But when she had suggested
switching beds, she had been met with such a cold look of outrage that
she didn't dare suggest it again.
It was now a week into December, and suddenly Christmas loomed largely
on Rose's horizon. The holiday didn't strike the same chord of joy that
it usually did, however, and she wondered just how she and Ward should
spend it. It was the day set aside to remember Christ's birth, but Rose
didn't think her Lord would really mind if she didn't celebrate just this
once. After fretting about it several more days, she decided that she
would just ignore Christmas this year. She was fairly certain Ward would
agree with her.
In this she was wrong. When she suggested it to him, Ward told her that
he had already invited the Comptons to spend Christmas with them. "I'm
sorry," he told her, although he didn't look it. "I didn't know you felt
that way."
Peeved, Rose told herself that he had no way of knowing bow she felt since
he was never around to talk about such things. She stopped in her tracks,
realizing just how much she had been missing him when he was away. Of
course, that was logical. It was lonely out here on the prairie, she reasoned,
ignoring her heart when it tried to presume otherwise.
As she was preparing for bed that night, she happened to catch Ward's
regard fixed intently on her as she brushed her long hair her usual one
hundred strokes. Her fingers grew clumsy as they always did when he looked
at her in such a way, and she dropped the brush.
Cheeks filling with color, she lifted it from the dirt and shook it out.
Reluctantly, she looked at her husband again only to find him stirring
the logs in the fire in preparation for the night. She curled down among
her covers and tried to get her heart to steady into its normal rhythm.
It was a long time before sleep found her.
The cold breeze from the cabin door closing roused Rose in the middle
of the night. Sitting up, she tried to rub the sleep from her eyes, wondering
what time it was and what had disturbed her.
She could barely make out the hands on the anniversary dock in the dying
light from the fire. Twelve twenty. Ward's covers were thrown back and
his bed was empty. Heart jumping in alarm, she hastily climbed from her
own warm cocoon and slid into her robe.
Opening the door, she scanned the area to see where Ward could have gone.
A light glimmered faintly from the barn, and closing the door behind her,
Rose headed in that direction.
By the time she reached the barn she was shivering with cold. She opened
the door, swiftly closing it behind her. When she turned around she found
Ward staring at her in surprise.
"What are you doing out here? Get back to the house! You'll freeze in
that getup."
Ignoring him, she moved forward to where he was kneeling. I thought something
might be wrong."
He shifted his position next to his mare, Beauty, who was lying on her
side, her flanks heaving. Rose's eyes widened in surprise. 1s she foaling?"
The look Ward focused on the mare was grim. "Yes," he told her shortly.
"Now go back to the house."
"Is something wrong with her?"
"She's breech," he told her through gritted teeth. "Now, for heaveds sake,
get out of here."
Rose looked from the heaving mare back to Ward. She could sense his desperation.
Not only was the foal valuable, Ward truly cared for his animals.
"No," she answered him firmly, moving closer to his side. "I want to help.
Just tell me what to do."
He looked as though he were about to argue when Beauty whinnied in pain.
Giving Rose brief instructions, he turned his full attention back to the
mare.
They worked together, side by side, until the first fingers of dawn were
spreading across the sky. Just when she thought all hope was lost, Ward
managed to turn the foal slightly, enough to allow it to pass through
the birth canal.
Only moments later, a wet and bloody but triumphant colt struggled to
get to his feet.
"It's a boy!" Rose exulted. "A beautiful baby boy!"
Ward shook his head slightly as he wiped his hands on a rag, his lips
turning up into a reluctant smile.
Now that the excitement was over, Rose found herself trembling with the
below-freezing temperatures. Although the barn was relatively warm compared
to the great outdoors, it was much too cold for someone standing in her
nightgown and robe.
Ward noticed her shivering and came quickly to her side. Pulling his own
sheepskin jacket from the stall where he had left it, he wrapped it securely
around her. His eyes found hers and held. "Thanks for your help. I couldn't
have done it without you," he told her softly.
Rose swallowed hard against his fingers where they clutched his jacket
together at her throat. Her eyes were drawn to his as they darkened in
response to hers. He leaned forward and lifting her chin with his thumbs
he pressed his lips warmly against hers.
Rose went from freezing to feeling as though her entire being were on
fire. When Ward wrapped his strong arms around her, she leaned her full
weight against him, knowing that her own legs would be useless as support.
She thought the moment would never end, in fact hoped that it wouldn't,
but Ward pulled away when he heard Adam's wagon entering their yard.
He dropped his arms, stepping back from her, something undefined in his
eyes. Rose shivered against the returning cold, her mind filled with a
mixture of wonder and confusion, and turning, she fled back to the cabin.
For the next several days Ward took pains to avoid being alone with
Rose as much as possible. She jumped whenever he entered a room, and she
sensed he knew it had to do with that moment in the barn. The friendly
rapport they had established had vanished, but she realized that what
was done couldn't be undone. She would have to do something to make him
comfortable again.
Ward was clearly surprised when Rose followed him out to the wagon the
next day.
"Do you think I can ride with you to Alice's today?'
Since he and Adam had accumulated enough logs to build a cabin, Ward had
insisted that Adam have first priority. Pride battled stubbornness, and
stubbornness had won out. Rose had had no doubt of the outcome. Ward had
a tendency to have his own way, one way or another.
The two men working together should have most of the cabin raised by that
evening, barring unforeseen circumstances. Alice would be ecstatic.
Ward studied Rose a moment as she quietly awaited his answer. Her coat
was buttoned tightly against the bitter cold and she was clutching a bundle
in her arms.
He hesitated, but she knew he really had no reason to refuse her.
"Sure. Climb up."
He helped her into the wagon, reaching into the back to grab the blanket
he kept there. He dropped it over her knees, fitting it snugly against
her sides. When his eyes met hers, Rose felt there was a moment when it
seemed as if the entire earth held its breath.
Turning quickly away, Ward picked up the reins and snapped them against
the horses' flanks.
When they reached the Comptons' soddie, Alice met them outside, her face
wreathed in smiles of welcome.
"Howdy! I'm so glad you came," she told Rose, her voice filled with pleased
expectation. Little Alicia stood shyly watching from the doorway, but
her brother Andrew pushed his way forward to stand beside the wagon.
Climbing down from her seat beside Ward, Rose followed Alice inside while
Ward went to find Adam.
Alice's soddie was small as it was, but when Rose's presence was added
along with the two children it became quite cramped. How could she stand
it? The claustrophobic feeling such a tight space engendered would make
even the sturdiest soul run mad.
"Can I go outside and help Pa, Ma?" little Andrew whined.
Alice glanced quickly at Rose, her face filling with color. "It's too
cold son, and you haven't a warm enough coat," she told him quietly. Sighing
in disgust, Andrew flung himself down next to his sister and began playing
with the wooden blocks their father had made for them.
Surveying the room, Rose noticed only one bed in the soddie and wondered
where the children slept. Her question must have been reflected on her
face because Alice hastily assured Rose that they all slept together since
it was warmer that way. There was only one thin, faded quilt on the bed
and Rose's heart went out to this family. They tried so hard to give the
impression that all was well. No wonder Ward had invited them for Christmas.
Settling her pack on the table, Rose addressed Alice. "I hope you don't
mind, Alice, but I brought some things to add for lunch. I so wanted to
have some company today, but it hardly seemed fair for me to just wish
myself on you and your family without bringing something along to feed
that giant of mine."
Tears came to Alice's eyes as Rose unloaded her pack. "I fixed too much
chicken last night, 'cause Ward found a bunch of prairie chickens and
brought them home for me to cook. I guess he forgets there's just the
two of us."
Alice didn't bother to suggest that Rose could have put them in her cooler
pit and frozen them, and Rose was certainly not about to mention it herself
"I also tried a new recipe for cookies that Emily Haskins gave me, but
I don't think they turned out as well as Emily's, so I think I'll try
again. Do you think Alicia and Andrew might like some?"
Rose wore such a woebegone look, her voice tinged with just the right
shade of anxiety, that Alice hastened to assure her that Andrew and Alicia
would be pleased to try some. As for the children, although their manners
kept them from saying much, their eyes spoke volumes.
When the men came in for lunch, they both stopped short at sight of the
heavily laden table. Besides the chicken and cookies, Rose had brought
potatoes, squash, and bread. If Ward was surprised by the great quantity
of food, he didn't say so. His eyes rested thoughtfully on his wife, and
when she chanced a look at him he smiled at her. Her cheeks filled with
guilty color and his smile widened into a full grin.
Adam said nothing, but there was a suspicious sheen in his solemn brown
eyes. When he said grace, Rose felt a lump rise in her throat at his fervent
thanks.
When they were on their way home that evening Ward was unusually silent.
He stopped the wagon suddenly and turned to Rose. Circles of frost puffed
around his face almost hiding him from view.
"That was a wonderfull thing you done. I'm right proud of you for thinking
of it." He landed a kiss on her surprised mouth, and lifting the reins,
clucked to the horses.
Rose's astonishment turned to a pleased feeling of accomplishment. She
felt warm all over, but of course that had nothing to do with Ward's kiss.
Nothing at all.
Chapter 5
That's a mighty fine woman you got there, Ward."
Ward glanced up from notching the log between his feet and smiled at Adam.
"That she is, Adam." He thought again of how Rose had come with him again,
bringing an old coat of hers for Andrew. She had made it sound like Alice
would do her a favor by taking it since it was too small for her, and
could Alice manage to use it? Yes, Rose was a manipulator all right, but
she always did it in such a nice way.
"How'd someone as ornery and cantankerous as you get such a fine woman
out here so far from civilization, anyway," Adam teased.
Ward lifted the log, motioning for Adam to take the other end. "Same way
a pigheaded old coot like you managed to get someone like Alice, I reckon."
Adam laughed, lifting his end of the log. They moved as one, hoisting
it and dropping it into place. Adam stepped back, brushing his hands together.
He nodded his head in satisfaction.
"Looks like one more should do," he told Ward. They moved towards the
logs still piled a few feet away. Lifting one away from the others, each
man began to notch his own end.
"Truth to tell," Adam continued, "I think it must have been the Good Lord
looking out for me. Seems He's been lookin' out for me right well."
Ward stopped chopping, resting the head of the axe against the ground
and leaning on its handle. "You can say that after all that's gone wrong
the past two summers? You may lose your claim."
Adam snorted. "Pshaw, that ain't nothin'. I still have my family, and
good friends like you. Didn't God send you to me just when I was about
at the end of my rope? Now I won't have to worry about my family this
winter. They'll be snug as a bug in a rug."
Smiling, Ward continued notching the log. "Adam, you've given me something
to think about."
Yes, he did have something to think about. It was amazing how much had
happened in so little time. It was almost as though the Almighty had allowed
Gabel Johnson to die so that Ward could step in to take care of Rose,
so that Rose could in turn help the Comptons. Of course it was foolish
to suppose that one knew the mind of God, but sometimes it was simple
to see how things might have been arranged.
He knew Rose, though sad, had no worries about her father's death. She
was absolutely certain where he would be in his afterlife.
And what about Ward, himself? He hadn't had nearly as strong a faith as
Rose, because when Elise had died he had turned his back on God. Before
her death, he and Elise had talked often about the possibility of one
of them being taken from this life. Elise had showed him in the book of
Hebrews that Satan had the power of death. He knew that to be so, then
why had he blamed God?
Because God was stronger than Satan; he knew that, too. Yet he was angry
with God for allowing his beloved Elise to die. Thinking back on it now,
he realized that it had been his idea to move to Dakota Territory. Elise
was one of those women who would follow her man anywhere, but he knew
she would never have survived for long on the prairie. The solitude alone
would have killed her. Guilt over his own selfishness shuddered through
him. A thought crossed his mind that deepened his guilt. Where would Rose
be now if Elise hadn't died?
To shake away such gruesome thoughts, he threw himself into his work so
that by the end of the day, the Comptons' cabin was finished except for
the caulking that Adam could do on his own.
The women came out to admire the men's work and the children ran excitedly
in and out of the open space that would be used as the door. The structure
stood solidly against the ever-present prairie wind.
"Oh, Adam." It was all Alice could say as tears pooled in her eyes. They
worked so hard trying to make a home out of this inhospitable territory.
For Alice to have lived in a soddie as long as she had gave credence to
the woman's remarkable ability to adapt. Ward knew it came from the great
love Alice had for Adam, wanting nothing but to assure her man's happiness,
just as Elise had for him. And now Rose was doing her best to adapt to
his harsh life.
As Ward began gathering his supplies together, Adam came up and slapped
him on the back. "We can start on your place tomorrow."
"If you don't mind," Ward told him, keeping his face averted, "Id just
as soon wait a day. I need to figure where I want to build, and how many
logs it'll take. Why don't you go ahead and chink your cabin and make
your door?" He lifted his head enough to catch Rose's eye and give her
a wink.
Dawning comprehension brought a quick smile to her lips. "What a great
idea! That means I can have you all to myself for one whole day."
Ward's heart jumped at this pronouncement. If he didn't know better, he'd
think she actually meant it.
Alice and Adam exchanged knowing smiles.
"Well, if you're sure," Adam told Ward. He turned to his wife. "Then,
woman, you should be snug in your own house by tomorrow evening."
On the ride home, Rose suddenly turned to Ward. "Ward, how come you
haven't been affected by the drought and the grasshoppers?" She had seen
the barn and knew that it was full of supplies for both the animals and
himself.
He glanced at her briefly. He took a long time answering, almost as though
he had to choose his words with care. "When I lived back East I had a
good paying job, a nice home and a pretty good nest egg in the bank. After
we decided to come out here, I sold the house for a fair price and added
to my nest egg. Elise and I decided not to bring too much with us. We
figured that since it was easy enough for boats to travel up the Missouri,
it should be easy enough to get goods from the East by way of Yankton."
He stopped, his thoughts obviously far away. "I still have most of that
money. After Elise ... after Elise died, I didn't need much for myself
I've tried to use some of my money to help others, but it's hard. These
are a proud people."
His look returned to her, one dark eyebrow lifting high. He nodded to
her hand. "Even your ring."
Rose felt her heart drop. "My ring?"
"Didn't you ever wonder where I got it?"
Her face turned so red, Ward's other eyebrow rose to match its counterpart.
He grinned, but turned his attention back to the road. "Someday, you'll
have to tell me just exactly what you did think. I got it from Emily.
The Haskins have had almost as hard a time as everyone else. Emily mentioned
to me a long time ago that she had her grandmother's wedding ring, and
if she could find a way she'd sell it. I remembered."
Rose wasn't exactly sure how she felt about this revelation, but it made
her glad that Ward had been able to help the Haskins. Secretly, she was
also relieved that the ring hadn~t belonged to Elise, though why it should
matter so much she wasn't sure.
They rode the rest of the way in thoughtful silence.
It was just two weeks until Christmas and Rose began to fret about what
to serve for Christmas dinner. She was growing more excited just thinking
about sharing with the Comptons. It had been so much fun to make them
happy with just the little she and Ward had done. The Bible was right.
It was more blessed to give than to receive.
Ward had absented himself from the house in the evenings, not coming in
till long after dark. It bothered her that he spent all day chopping logs
for their cabin and then spent so much time doing she knew not what out
in the cold barn.
It was below freezing tonight and still he hadn't come in except for a
quick bite to eat. Lips setting into a firm line, she pulled on her coat
and went in search of him.
When she first opened the barn door, she couldn't see Ward anywhere. Thinking
he might be someplace else, she was about to close the door when she heard
a faint scraping in the corner. Following the direction of the sound,
she found Ward in the end stall surrounded by shavings of wood. He glanced
up in surprise.
"What on earth are you doing?" she asked warily.
Ward went back to carving on the piece of wood he held in his hand. Rose
could see the beginnings of a rifle barrel forming from the wood he was
shaving.
"I'm making a toy for Andrew. For Christmas."
Her mouth dropped open. "A toy~"
Rose's eyes went beyond Ward to the corner of the stall and she could
see something covered with a burlap sack.
"What's that?"
"Something for Alicia."
Rose pushed past him and lifted the cover, gasping in surprise. Color
came to Ward's cheeks, but he didn't stop his work.
"Oh, Ward! It's beautiful!" Rose stroked her hand softly over the toy
cradle, sliding a finger gently around the intricate design carved into
the headboard. "How did you do it?"
He shrugged, lifting the rifle for inspection. Closing one eye, he pulled
the toy to his shoulder to check that the barrel was forming in a straight
line.
"I used to be a carpenter."
Amazed, Rose could only stare at him. She hadn't known that about him!
Of course there was very little about her husband she did know. She watched
him work several more moments. Periodically he would stop, blowing into
his hands to relieve them of the cold.
"You should come inside. It's much too cold out here," she told him.
He shook his head. "Can't. Gotta get this done by Christmas."
She frowned at him. "Well, bring it inside then. It's warmer by the fire."
He glanced up at her in astonishment. "It would make too much of a mess.
Elise hated having wood shavings all over the house."
Rose felt a slight pang at mention of his first wife. "Well, I'M sure
she didn't have a dirt floor either. How's a few shavings of wood going
to hurt that? Besides," she reasoned. "You can always sweep them up."
He studied her pensively. "You sure?"
She nodded. "Course I'm sure. Come inside now."
It was two days later as she watched Ward whittling away at the wood
that she came up with an idea. From what she could see, Alicia had no
doff to play with. Being a man, Ward had probably never considered that
fact.
After supper, she hesitantly approached him. "Ward, do you think Alicia
would like a new doll to go with her cradle?"
His eyes brightened at the suggestion. "Why, I think that'd be a great
idea. I never thought about a doll." Rose hid a smile.
"Do you have the stuff to do it?"
"I still have some scraps left ... left from before. I think I have enough
for a doll and a small quilt."
'Well, if you don't, give me a list. I plan on going into Yankton tomorrow."
He went back to his whittling. Surprised, Rose continued to stare at his
down-bent head.
"But, that will take you four days!"
He scrutinized her tense face, his eyes unfathomable. "You scared to stay
alone?"
She pressed her lips tightly together. "Course not, but this isdn't exactly
the time of year to be making such trips. What if you get caught in a
blizzard?"
He rose to his feet, placing his hands on her shoulders and staring solemnly
into her worried eyes. "There's settlers between here and there. If I
have to, I can take shelter."
Hearing the determination in his voice, Rose knew it would do no good
to argue. When Ward made up his mind to do something, nothing could sway
him from his purpose.
Sighing, Rose turned away. "I'll make the list."
Ward studied the sky along the northern horizon. This didn't look good.
He was caught on the open prairie and a storm was rapidly approaching.
He knew it had been foolish to try and make the trip to Yankton at such
a time, but he wanted to pick up something special for Rose as a Christmas
present.
He knew how much she loved to read, and her own books were already dog-eared
from use. Probably she could recite the books verbatim.
He glanced at the crate behind the wagon seat. It had been unwise perhaps,
but it was something he had been determined to do.
As a man, he had a lot to occupy his time. There were barely enough hours
in the day to get all his work done, even in the winter. But for a woman,
it was different.
Course, he knew women weren't idle. Far from it. They filled their hours
with hard work and all the little details that made a house a home. But
women felt the solitude more. To Rose, reading was like visiting with
a neighbor.
She had been so patient with him, waiting for all the things that would
make his cabin more the home she was used to, and never complaining. In
fact, she had encouraged him to put the Comptons first.
He shook his head. She was nothing like his Elise. Elise had been like
a beautiful fairy, flitting through her life with gay abandon. Rose, now
she was different. Rose was more like the wild prairie rose that her name
brought to mind. Sturdy, dependable, a spot of beauty in a rugged landscape.
He frowned. Just exactly when had he started thinking of Rose as beautiful?
The frown deepened as he tried to reason it out. Maybe when she had first
sat cross-legged on the bed combing her long, dark hair with the fire
reflecting off of it in shimmering particles of light.
He had wanted to go to her then. It had taken all of his willpower to
turn away. Had love been creeping up on him unawares, only he hadn't recognized
it as such? Could she tell? Probably if she knew his thoughts and feelings,
she would freeze him out as she had after that first kiss in the barn.
The cold December landscape had been nothing in comparison.
As the wind picked up and feathery flakes of snow began to fall, he wondered
if he would ever have the chance to find out.
Rose watched the huge snowflakes as they drifted to the icy ground.
This was the day Ward was supposed to have returned home. She went back
inside, praying that the wind would hold off and that this would just
be another snowstorm instead of the blizzard the howling wind could make
it.
For the first time, she felt frustrated at the dark interior of the cabin.
In her own shanty, Papa had placed purchased glass for windows. Ward had
not, and now with the shutters closed the dim interior seemed full of
foreboding as she heard the soft breath of wind turn into a whirling gale.
So much for prayers. She switched her petitions to asking for Ward's safekeeping.
If anything should happen to him, she didn't know what she would do.
Sitting down hard on the chair next to their eating table, Rose put her
face in her hands. How, God? How had this happened? How could I possibly
be in love with my husband? When bad it even started?
She had always been a little afraid of him, but not because she thought
he would hurt her. No, it had more to do with the way he made her feel.
Had she been falling in love all along only hadn't realized it?
She picked up the small sticks lying on the table and began to tie them
together with cord. Ward had given her several carved figures: Mary, Joseph,
Baby Jesus, several wise men, and several shepherds. There were even tiny
sheep, cattle, and a donkey. He had been whittling them over the past
several years. His ability to carve such intricate, beautiful things still
filled her with awe. What an incredible gift God had given him. Did he
recognize it as such?
Her part was in making the cr6che where they would sit. Funny, she and
Ward seemed to complement each other well as they worked together.
As she worked, she tried to ignore the ever-rising wail of the wind. Placing
cut pieces of hay among the cr6che, her petitions to the Lord grew more
fervent. What would she do if something happened to Ward? To have finally
found love and then to have it snatched away so suddenly was incomprehensible.
Surely God could not mean for such a thing to happen. She needed time
to make Ward love her in return.
Setting Mary next to Joseph, she allowed her thoughts to wander. Did Joseph
love Mary, or had Mary had to contend with a marriage such as Rose's?
Joseph was a good man, that was evidenced by the fact that he wanted to
put Mary away quietly instead of making her face her shame. But did he
love her?
Restlessly, she got up from the table and opened the door to look out.
The portal was flung back against the interior cabin wall with the force
of the wind. It took everything Rose could muster to be able to close
it again. She leaned back against it, her breathing ragged.
What would happen to the animals? They were safe in the barn, but Ward
had forbidden her to go to them if there were a storm. Not that she was
crazy enough to do so anyway.
She wandered restlessly around the cabin, not able to settle to doing
anything. Even little Alicia's doll that she had started lay forgotten
on the bed.
When darkness came, Ward still had not returned. It seemed the hands of
the clock on the mantle ticked slowly by, dragging each hour to its fulllest.
Supper sat untouched on the table. It had been something to occupy her
time, and at least she had the hope that Ward would be home soon and hungry.
But he hadn't come.
Finally, Rose could take the strain no longer and flinging herself to
her knees beside the bed she began to pray loudly, trying to block out
the sound of the wind. Before long, her voice turned hoarse with the exertion
and trying to suppress her tears. Giving in to the inevitable, she allowed
the tears to come. Great, wracking sobs tore at her body.
Suddenly, the door flung open and Rose sat staring at what seemed like
a huge, hulking polar bear.
Rose came quickly to her feet and was across the room, flinging herself
into her husband's arms.
Chapter 6
Rose glanced periodically at her husband thawing in front of the fire
as she walked over to get him dry clothes and a blanket. Steam rose from
his wet clothes as he tried to huddle closer for warmth, a hot cup of
tea clutched in his shaking hands. She had been so glad to see him, so
relieved that he was alive, that she had thrown herself into his arms.
She worried about that now. Had she given away her feelings with that
action? She certainly hoped not, because although she may have discovered
her own love for him, he had shown nothing that would give her hope that
he felt the same. Hadn't he told her that his heart was dead?
"How did you ever manage to get home in this blizzard?"
He looked at her briefly, his teeth still chattering as he took off his
wet outer clothes. I just decided to let the horses have their head. Animals
have a pretty keen sense of direction, even in a storm. I was hoping they
would find their way home, and they did."
Bless Old Blue and Big Ben. She would give them an extra portion of oats
to show her appreciation.
Rose handed Ward his nightclothes. TPut these on and get into bed," she
scolded. 'We'll be doing good if you don't catch pneumonia."
She turned her back as he fumbled out of his heavy, wet clothes and into
his dry night things.
"Where's the blankets for my pallet?"
Not looking at him, Rose began laying his wet clothes over the chair to
dry. "You're not sleeping on the floor. I'll not have you catching a chill."
The room grew so silent, she could hear the logs pop in the fireplace.
When she finally turned his way, he was staring at her somberly. "Just
what are you saying, Rose? 'Cause I'll have you know that I won't allow
you to sleep on the floor."
She continued to flit about the cabin, straightening things here, fixing
things there. Her face was the color of a ripe apple when she told him,
"I figured as much. I'm willing to share the bed."
Although she couldn't see him, Rose could feel his eyes upon her back.
His stillness reminded her of a cougar she had seen once, just before
it had lunged at his prey.
Ward hesitated. Fatigue and confusion crossed his face. Without saying
anything, he finally climbed into the bed. "Are you coming?"
Shaking her head, Rose picked up Alicia's doll. "No, not yet. I think
I'll work on this for a while."
She wasn't fooling him and she knew it, but there was no way she could
crawl into that bed next to him right now. The way she was feeling...
Sighing, Ward cuddled down under the covers. He appreciated Rose's concern,
but this was a volatile situation. Could they ever go back to the way
things had been after sleeping together? Even if nothing happened, it
was still sure to change things. Still, things couldn't continue the way
they had been, either. He thought he could sense a subtle change in Rose's
attitude towards him, but his mind was too foggy with fatigue that he
couldn't even begin to figure it out now.
There were many times in the last couple of days that he had longed to
be in this bed, but he hadn't imagined it being this way. In his dreams
he had imagined himself telling Rose of his love for her and her throwing
her arms around him and telling him she felt the same way.
Well, she had certainly thrown her arms around him, but dealing with her
sobs was not part of his fantasy. Nor was having her order him to bed
as though he were a child. If he were a betting man, he'd wager she'd
sit up all night in that chair by the fire just so she wouldn't have to
share his bed.
He considered going to her now and telling her how he felt, but his eyes
were already becoming heavy, his body succumbing to its ordeal. Besides,
she had offered to share the bed with him, nothing more.
Before long, Rose could hear Ward's soft snores. The poor man was exhausted.
The doll lay forgotten on her lap as she watched him sleep.
Getting up, she crossed to his side and stood observing him, her eyes
tender with the love she felt. Reaching out, she pushed the dark hair
from his forehead, bending and placing a kiss there.
He was definitely out. Nothing, including an earthquake, would wake him
now. Feeling safe, she changed into her own nightclothes and blowing out
the lamp, crawled into bed next to him.
For a long time she lay tense, listening to him breathe. Finally, she
was able to relax and turning, she curled herself against his side, determined
to share with him her body heat. The fear of pneumonia was never far from
her mind.
Eventually, with an exhausted sigh, she too succumbed to sleep.
A thumping on the door brought them both wide awake. Ward tried to scramble
across Rose just as she was trying to get out of the bed. They wound up
in a tangle of arms and legs. Ward propped himself up with his arms and
gazed down into Rose's still sleep-laden eyes. A smile tugged at his lips
and before they knew it, both were filled with paroxysms of mirth.
He quickly kissed her lips before climbing from the bed and opening the
door a crack.
"Morning, Ward." Adam's voice sounded loud and clear in the bright morning
sunlight slitting through the opened door. "Sorry I'm late, but there
are some pretty big drifts out here."
Surprised, Ward hastened to assure him. I'll be right with you."
Rose hustled out of bed once the door was closed.
"You can't go out today! You need to rest. Stay in bed." Sitting on the
chair pulling on his boots, he threw her a wicked grin. "What are you
suggesting, Mrs. Taylor?"
Her face colored hotly and she began stammering in her confusion. "I ...
I didn't mean -"
Taking pity on her, he stood up and crossed to her side. "I was only teasing.
I'll be back later. This should be our last load of logs and then we can
start on the bedrooms."
The look he gave her was searching in its intensity, but Rose was too
distraught to notice. Was he that anxious to have the bedrooms done that
he would be willing to risk his health? Surely Adam would understand if
he knew the situation. She lifted a hand to her temple, rubbing against
a fast-approaching headache.
Bundling into his coat, Ward strode to the door. "See you later. I'll
take care of the animals before I leave."
The door closed behind him.
For the next several hours Rose gave herself a good talking to. As she
embroidered tiny even stitches to make the doll's mouth, she lectured
herself on being a fool. When she began sewing scraps together to make
a small quilt for the cradle, she admonished herself to be more careful
to hide her feelings in the future.
It was only as she was sewing together some old pieces of leather for
a musket case for Andrew that she stopped to think about that brief kiss
this morning. She felt warmth creeping into her cheeks as she wondered
what would have happened if Adam had not come this morning and they would
have awakened on their own.
Was it possible that Ward might harbor some slight feeling for her? As
impossible as it seemed, that little bud of hope refused to die. Such
thoughts had her feeling as prickly as her pincushion by the time Ward
was due home.
When Ward came in that evening, he carried a small tree he had brought
from the river. "How's this for a Christmas tree?"
Rose's eyes lit up, and forgotten were those moments from this morning
that had caused her such worry all day long. "Oh, Ward. What a great idea!"
He grinned back at her, tired lines radiating from his eyes. "It's the
reason I insisted on going today. I wasn't sure when Id get another chance."
Rose frowned as she looked about the room. Although the room was large
enough, there really was very little furniture and the tree was so small
it would need to be situated on a table. If they used the table in the
kitchen area, they would have no place to eat.
"I was thinking," Ward suggested, "that maybe I could bring in that table
of yours from the barn. Since it's larger than this one, we could move
this one to the corner for the tree and then use yours for eating. It
will give us more eating room when the Comptons come for Christmas."
Gripping her hands together, Rose placed the nails from her two index
fingers against her teeth. Squinting her eyes, she tried to "see" how
things would look in her mind's eye. "That'll work."
They shifted the table to the corner and Rose f6und a bowl for the tree.
Laying the tree on the floor, Ward took the bowl and headed for the door.
"I'll get some dirt from the barn. Outside's too frozen. It would take
me all day just to chip out enough dirt to fill this bowl."
When he came back, Rose helped him move the table and fix the small tree.
They found themselves giggling like children when the determined thing
tipped first one way and then another.
Finally, Ward leaned back sighing. "We need something to wrap around the
base for support."
They both searched the cabin with their eyes. When Ward lifted an eyebrow
at Rose, she just shrugged. "I don't know. What do you suggest?"
"I have some burlap in the barn. We could use that."
Rose wrinkled her nose. "I don't think so. The whole cabin would soon
smell like the barn." She thought a minute and then her eyes lit up. "I
know. Look in my trunk there by the bed. There's an old white blanket.
We could use that, then it would look Eke snow."
Ward rummaged through the chest while Rose held the tree steady. It was
a moment before Rose realized just how quiet the room had become. Turning
to see where the problem lay, she found Ward holding her memory quilt
across his lap. His eyes went to hers.
"This is beautiful. Why don't you use it?"
The color that had drained from her face now came rushing back. She opened
her mouth to explain, but no words would come.
Ward crossed the room to her side, the white blanket clutched in his hands.
He handed it to her without comment. Together they wrapped it securely
around the base of the little tree.
"That should hold it," Ward told her.
She agreed, and though it was nothing like the pine trees back home, still
it would do. She stepped back to get the full effect, smiling her pleasure.
Ward was such a thoughtful man. Why had she never seen that before?
"It looks great. I'll decorate it tomorrow."
Smiling, Ward told her, "I'll help."
Rose turned to him in surprise. "That's right, you're finished chopping
trees. Aredt you and Adam going to start building tomorrow?"
The look he settled on her was disturbing in its intensity. "I'm in no
hurry," he told her quietly.
Unsure what to make of his attitude, Rose decided to leave him to his
own thoughts and go fix supper. Ward's fingers closed softly but inexorably
around her wrist when she turned away. "Tell me about the quilt," he commanded
softly. "It upset you to see it. Why?"
Rose's eyes met his and she found herself unable to look away. She began
to tell him of the quilt without quite realizing what she was saying.
His nearness was doing funny things to her insides.
When he suddenly released her, she felt curiously bereft. He returned
to the chest and pulled the quilt from it. Laying it across the bed, he
motioned for Rose to come to him. Reluctantly, she moved to his side.
Ward motioned to the spread. "Tell me about the material."
Uncertain as to his reasons for wanting to know, Rose still found herself
telling him little stories about the various pieces. He laughed with her
over her tales, and grew somber when she told him of the piece that was
from the last dress her mother wore before she died.
He gently folded the covering and replaced it in its position in the chest.
When he looked her way, his face was solemn. "Perhaps you will use it
one day, perhaps not, but it's great that you have so many memories. What
a unique way of making sure that those memories are around for a long
time."
Ward was silent throughout supper, his thoughts far away. Rose assumed
that in sharing her own memories, she had resurrected his own recollections
of Elise. She picked at her own meal, pushing the stew around on her plate.
After washing the dishes, Rose decided to search through her things and
see what she could use to decorate the tree. She hadn't much, but she
had a lot of ingenuity.
Ward settled himself beside the fire to put the finishing touches to Andrew's
gun. Although it wouldn't actually shoot, Rose knew the boy would be thrilled
with it.
Taking out some scraps of material, Rose held them against the tree. Their
bright colors added a bit of cheer to the drab interior. Yes, she would
tie various colors of bows to the branches. That would be a start.
"Ward?"
"Hmm?"
Rose watched as he expertly smoothed the gun barrel with a piece of sandpaper.
"We don't have a gift for Alice and Adam."
He looked up at her then. "I'm sure they won't expect one." He went back
to sanding. "If I'd thought about it, I would have picked up something
in Yankton."
"Why did you go to Yankton?"
Without looking up he answered her. "I needed some supplies."
Rose had no idea what he could have possibly needed, but then she knew
very little about the running of his farm. Shrugging, she sat down to
cut some of her scraps into small enough strips to use as bows.
Although Ward said nothing, Rose could see the tired droop of his shoulders.
He had battled a blizzard half the night and then rose at first light
to go finish chopping logs for their cabin. It was obviously catching
up with him, but for some reason he seemed reluctant to go to bed.
Rose put her things away and began to prepare herself for bed. After brushing
her hair its required one hundred strokes, she crawled beneath the covers.
Ward still sat next to the fire working on the gun.
"Aren't you coming?" Rose asked him.
She could see him swallow hard before shaking his head. "Not just yet.
I'm almost finished here."
Rose lifted herself on one elbow. "Andrew will love that. And Alicia will
love her cradle. You do beautiful work, Ward."
"Thanks."
The one clipped syllable brought a frown to Rose's face. Ward seemed almost
like a stranger tonight. Cold. Aloof. Like he had been before their marriage.
Sliding back under the covers, Rose turned her back on him, feeling unreasonably
hurt.
It was some time later before Ward banked the fire and prepared himself
for bed. Rose pretended to be asleep, waiting to see if he would take
up his pallet on the floor again. She thought she would die if he did,
thinking that he would be rejecting what she had so shyly offered.
Ward blew out the lantern and Rose held her breath until suddenly she
felt the bed dip as Ward climbed in beside her. He lay staring up at the
ceiling for a long time before finally he rolled towards Rose's back.
Wrapping one strong arm around her waist, Ward pulled her back against
his chest. He made no move to do anything else and Rose sighed with relief
when after several moments she heard his even breathing. Feeling safe
for the night, she allowed herself to relax back against his body and
even in his sleep, he cuddled her close.
Goodness only knew how they were going to handle this situation in the
morning.
Chapter 7
The morning light didn't penetrate the dingy interior of the cabin, so
it was late when Rose opened her eyes. Sometime in the night she had curled
herself into Ward's arms and now felt her face flame with color.
She made a move to get up, only to find herself pulled back and Ward's
handsome face grinning down into her own.
"Where you going?"
"I ... I have to fix breakfast."
He shook his head slowly and a lone curl dropped tantalizingly down across
his forehead. "Not yet. There's something we need to discuss."
Feeling her heart begin to pound, Rose swallowed hard. "What?"
Ward stared down into her blue eyes as he traced a finger across Rose's
flaming cheek, his eyes dark and serious. "Rose, I think I'm in love with
you."
He waited for her reaction, and a long moment passed as Rose tried to
believe her ears.
"What ... what did you just say?" Her voice came out as little more than
a croak.
"I said that I think I'm in love with you. I guess I have been for some
time, only I didn't realize it."
Rose could only stare up at him, stunned into a lack of speech. Ward frowned.
"Well, say something."
I ... I think I love you, too."
The frown eased from his features. "You're not sure?"
"You're not, either?"
Ward hesitated. "I've only had one experience with love, Rose, and it
was nothing like this. I'm beginning to believe there are different kinds
of loving between a man and a woman."
Rose could only nod.
I want to be with you," he continued. "And when I'm not I find myself
thinking about you. You're kind and loving, stubborn and proud. You make
me feel ... strong."
Rose knew he was having trouble putting his thoughts into words. For Ward,
actions would speak more loudly than any words he could ever hope to utter.
She smiled in understanding and he kissed her softly on her lips.
The moment his lips touched hers, Rose felt all her doubts vanish. She
would gladly give her life for this man, and she knew without any more
uncertainties that she loved him with her entire being.
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she tried to show him of her love in
the oldest way known to women.
Christmas day dawned bright and clear. Much of the snow had disappeared
from the area, blown by the ever-present winds.
There was a spring in Rose's step as she set about making the cabin ready
for their guests. She and Ward had spent the last several days getting
to know one another better, and her love for him grew daily. She didn't
think it was possible to love a man as much as she loved Ward. As they
went about their duties, they found themselves eager to be together, to
touch.
Ward had been hunting and had brought home a deer for their Christmas
dinner. Now it roasted over the open fire as Rose prepared the vegetables.
Ward came in the door, his eyes searching for and quickly finding Rose.
Setting down the crate that he carried, he smiled and held out his hand
to her and she quickly went to him. He wrapped his arms about her and
kissed her lightly on her nose.
"Before company gets here, I have something for you. A Christmas present."
Surprised, Rose could only stammer. "You shouldn't have. Oh, Ward, I didn't
get you anything."
"You've given me the greatest gift a man could ask for. Your love."
Rose wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled. "You say the nicest
things."
His return smile was wry. "Not always."
Rose's eyes began to glow. "What do you have for me~'
"You mean besides me?"
"Ward!"
He grinned, turning her loose so that he could lift the crate and carry
it to the table. Using his hammer, he pried the top from the box and then
moved aside so Rose could see what was inside.
Pushing back the paper, Rose found the crate filled with books. Her eyes
grew wide with excitement. "Oh, Ward!"
She pulled out the first book and turned it gently in her hands. "Charles
Dickens. I love Dickens! How did you know?"
"I think you can just about recite A Christmas Carol. I thought you might
like something else."
"I've never read The Cricket on the Hearth, though I have heard of it."
She rummaged in the crate again. "Alexandre Dumas' The Three Musketeers.
You should like that," she told him.
"I will if you read it to me."
Rose wrinkled her nose at him, but her attention was more on the jewels
she was uncovering in the crate. Not since her move from the city had
she seen so many books. She pulled the last one from the box and set it
with the others. "I heard about Louisa May Alcott before we left Boston.
I don't know where you were able to find all of these books, but I thank
you with all of my heart."
Ward wrapped her back in his arms. "You're welcome. Now thank me properly."
Grinning, Rose reached up and kissed his chin.
Ward shook his head. "Nope, that won't do it."
Reaching up again, Rose kissed his cheek.
He shook his head again. "Nope. Wrong again. I guess I'll just have to
take the books back."
Rose tried to push away. "Never!"
One dark eyebrow Winged its way upward. "I'm waiting, then."
Rose sighed. "Well, if I must," she teased.
She would have given him a peck on the lips, but Ward captured her lips
with his own and suddenly, all humor fled for Rose. She kissed him back
with abandon, wondering at herself and her ability to lose her restraint
with a man that just a few short weeks ago she hadn't even thought she
liked.
Ward finally pulled away, his voice husky. "Enjoy your present, Rose.
I'm glad it pleases you."
He took the now empty crate and made his way back outside to break it
into kindling for the fire.
Rose picked up the copy of Little Women and hugged it to her, her eyes
sparkling. What a wonderful gift. If only she had something as nice to
give Alice.
She went to her chest and rummaged through it, sighing when she found
nothing suitable to give as a gift. Her eyes lighted on the quilt, and
she rubbed the cover softly, thinking how happy her papa and mama would
be for her.
With a determined sparkle in her eye, Rose quickly pulled the quilt from
the trunk holding it up to the light. Firmly, she blanked her mind and
refused the memories access as they tried to rush upon her.
She took the paper that the books had been wrapped in and some string,
and quickly wrapped the quilt and placed it with the other gifts under
the tree.
If only she had something she could give Ward. Remembering how he said
he was happy with her love brought a flush to her face. Next year, maybe
she could give Ward a son. The thought pleased her.
The Comptons arrived shortly thereafter. The children oohed and aahed
over the tree, their eyes growing large at the sight of the presents under
it.
Rose exclaimed over Alicia and Andrew's coats. Alice's face flooded with
color. "I hope you don't mind, Rose," she stated quietly. "The coat you
brought for Andrew was too big for him, so I took it and made it into
two, one for Andrew and one for Alicia."
"What a good idea. And you've done it so beautifully. You must be a wonderful
seamstress."
Alice shrugged, her head ducked shyly.
After everyone was in the cabin it suddenly seemed a lot smaller, but
no one seemed to mind. Children and adults alike were willing to overlook
the cramped confines of the small structure just for the joy of being
together.
It was a happy time for everyone. The roast deer was devoured and pronounced
a success. Squash, potatoes, corn cakes, boiled eggs, cake, and pie were
consumed until everyone declared they hadn't feasted so well in years.
Ward announced that it was time for everyone to open their gifts, and
Rose could see how relieved Alice was that she had been able to contribute.
She handed Rose a small package wrapped in brown wrap.
"Oh, Alice. You shouldn't have."
Alice's face filled with color and she dipped her head shyly. "It's not
much."
Rose exclaimed over the beauty of the fine stitching Alice had used to
turn an old sheet into a beautiful tablecloth.
Ward handed the twins their presents and with a small smile watched them
rip them open.
Alicia squealed with delight. "A baby! A baby, Mommy! Look!"
Adam's eyes found Rose's and in their shimmering brown depths she read
his thanks.
"Wow!" Andrew pealed. "A gun! My very own gun!"
"I hope it's all right?" Ward questioned Alice.
She only nodded, her own eyes glimmering with unshed tears.
Finally, Rose handed her package to Alice. "For you and Adam."
Ward glanced at Rose in surprise., watching as Alice unwrapped her gift.
Alice sucked in her breath, her eyes going wide. She pulled the quilt
from its wrap and Ward quickly rose to his feet, his protest checked on
his lips.
The tears in Rose's eyes matched those of the other woman as both embraced.
"Oh, thank you, Rose. It's beautiful. Thank you so much."
The rest of the day was pleasant and Rose watched the Comptons climb into
their wagon with a warm feeling of having done what was right. Papa would
have wanted her to do just what she had done.
After their guests drove away, Ward followed Rose into the cabin. He pulled
her gently into his arms. "Why did you do it?"
She sniffled into his chest. "Papa would have wanted it. The quilt was
doing no one any good sitting in that chest. The Comptons needed it."
Ward rested his chin on her head, staring at the ceiling. "But your memories."
"I'll always have my memories," she told him. "And with you, I'll start
to make new memories."
Ward sighed and Rose finally pulled away.
"Can we read the Christmas story now? That was always my favorite part
of Christmas with Papa, when he would read the Christmas story from the
Bible."
She handed Ward her Bible and waited while he settled himself in his chair.
She curled at his feet prepared to listen.
At first, Ward's voice came out hesitantly, but as the story progressed
it grew stronger with the feelings the story inspired. Rose wiped the
tears from her eyes when he finished.
"I never get tired of hearing it. How God sent His only Son to die for
people who openly mocked and ridiculed Him."
Ward was quiet for a long while. "He did it for the same reasons you gave
the Comptons your special quilt. They needed it, and He loved them enough
to sacrifice that which was most precious to Him. That's what makes a
true sacrifice."
Rose climbed up onto Ward's lap, laying her head on his shoulder.
Ward's voice was husky when he nuzzled her car. "Just like you gave me
a gift of your love, so God gave us a gift of His love. I've forgotten
that. I've lived my life the last several years without Him, but not anymore."
He pulled her face back so he could look into her eyes. "When I saw the
sacrifice you were willing to make, knowing how much that quilt meant
to you, I wanted so much to say something. To take it back. But it wasn't
mine to deny."
"Just like sometimes I wish I could take back God's sacrifice. Make it
never have happened. But then, the world would have been condemned to
an eternity without God. I can't imagine a life without God," Rose told
him.
"I can't imagine a life without you," Ward answered back.
Rose sighed. "I am so thankful that God brought you into my life."
"That makes two of us, because if not for your unshakable faith, I don't
know if I would have ever realized just how much I needed God. How much
I needed you. I've been selfish."
He kissed her with all of the love stored in his heart and Rose returned
the kiss in kind. For a long time the only sound in the cabin was the
soft murmuring of words of love.
Later, Rose went with Ward to feed the animals. A million shimmering lights
glimmered from the dark sky above. As they watched, hand in hand, a shooting
star left a fiery path across the sky and disappeared in an instant.
Just like that star so long ago had led the wise men to the Savior, so
God had led Ward and Rose to each other.
Rose continued to stare at the night sky. She had found unexpected happiness
after adversity. She had lost one precious man, and found another. She
smiled slowly and Ward had to bend dose to hear her say, "Thank You, Father.
Thank you, Papa."
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